tags:
- JournalIt's really hard to get my thoughts together recently. I just want to be productive and also somehow relax at the same time, but these are not easily reconciled wants. Relaxing can often mean doing almost nothing. But doing almost nothing makes me feel like a waste, and doing something is not very relaxing. The job listing is up for the new Executive Director at MADE, which is a relief to see. I personally have no idea what I want to do or what I am going to do next. But I will take some of the advice I got from a few people that are outside of the problem: "If you left, don't just go back". At least, it was more or less that advice I'm somewhat summarizing. I miss having something to work on that is bigger than me. I worry about spending without income but I'm also in a good place to take a break with my partner even willing to find work so I can take a break. But I'm still on edge about everything. Something "could" go wrong and make this a lot harder than just relaxing. I'm somewhat like this because I've always been, but also because in November in 2021 when I decided to relax-- BOOM! We lost our somewhat affordable housing back in Fremont and needed to move out in 30 something days. What if that happens now? What will I do? We have so much stuff.
Sarah put on Death Note.
It's 21:16 as the stamp above also notes.
Since Sarah is home. I'm just relaxing as best I can as she does, watching Anime.
I've moved this younger note to above the other note in this document.
It's hard to just write sometimes. I just leave this open and I want to stamp it again:
202511122125
useless stamping. Does that mean this should be above the other part? it should just go down because that's what it does. Yeah I'll move it back down. Done.
So just stamp and keep going. But for sure. Just rambling now... Rambling.